September Daily Practice: Wisdom Practice -- Equanimity

Well, with this posting, this blog marks it's first anniversary. I'm wondering if those who have signed on as followers could offer some feedback on what has been helpful, what hasn't been so helpful and what you'd like to see on this blog. In a nutshell, I'd like this blog to be of service to you and all those who wish to live more mindfully, and I'd also like it to be more 'interactive.'  In looking over the past year, there's been less and less comments made, and I wonder what this signifies?

As for this month's Daily Practice, I'm sharing the fourth of the Four Immeasurables, the one that can be most challenging, and yet is ultimately the foundation and nourishment needed to expand the other three (friendliness, compassion and joy) 'immeasurably!'

A lot of people I know avoid reading the paper first thing in the morning—being confronted with all of the injustices and bad deeds in the world is an unsettling way to start the day. It’s difficult to read about the latest corporate finance scam or the obscenity of human trafficking and keep your peace of mind, and it’s even harder to know how to respond. The conflict feels even more immediate when you witness an unjust act firsthand, or are yourself the recipient of one, whether it’s having your wallet stolen, your car broken into, or any sort of hurtful behavior directed your way. The answer to this problem is upeksha, or equanimity, the fourth of the brahmaviharas. This state of mind allows us to respond to the nonvirtuous deeds of others, and indeed, to all of life’s fluctuations, in such a way that we are, as Buddhist scholar Peter Harvey describes it, the opposite of the way James Bond likes his martini: Stirred but not shaken. When we cultivate equanimity, we’re moved by injustice in the world and motivated to make things better, but our deep inner serenity is not disturbed.

Sometimes translated as indifference, upeksha is not a bland state of neutrality. In fact it means we care, and care deeply about all beings evenly! The Buddhist tradition’s understanding of upekkha or equanimity is one of balance. A balanced heart is not an unfeeling heart. The balanced heart feels pleasure without grasping and clinging at it, it feels pain without condemning or hating, and it stays open to neutral experiences with presence. Insight Meditation teacher Sharon Salzburg speaks of equanimity as a “spacious stillness of mind,” within which we can remain connected to others and all that is happening around us, while remaining free of our conditioned habit of grasping at what is pleasant and pushing away what is unpleasant.

  

One way to experience equanimity is to experiment with mindfulness meditation. Rather than fixing one-pointed attention on a single object such as the breath or a mantra, mindfulness meditation involves the moment-to-moment awareness of changing objects of perception. Mindfulness is like a flood light, shining awareness on the whole field of experience including sensations, emotions, and thoughts as they arise and pass away in the dynamic, ever-changing flux that characterizes the human experience of body and mind. Mindfulness allows you to see the nature of the unfolding process without getting caught in reactivity, or into being overly identified with it as ‘self,’ and this insight changes your relationship to the mind-body. The waves keep coming, but you don’t get swept away by them. Or as Swami Satchidanada often said, “you can’t stop the waves but you can learn to surf!” This ability to remain balanced amidst ever-changing conditions is the balance of equanimity.

There’s an old story that illustrates the wisdom of this state of mind. A farmer's most valuable asset is the one horse he owns. One day it runs away. All the townspeople commiserate with him, "Oh, what terrible luck! You've fallen into poverty now, with no way to pull the plow or move your goods!" The farmer merely responds, "I don't know if it's unfortunate or not; all I know is that my horse is gone."

A few days later, the horse returns, and following it are 6 more horses, both stallions and mares. The townspeople say "Oh! You've struck it rich! Now you have 7 horses to your name!" Again, the farmer says, "I don't know if I'm fortunate or not; all that I can say is that I now have 7 horses in my stable."

A few days later, while the farmer's son is trying to break in one of the wild stallions, he's thrown from the horse and breaks his leg and shoulder. All the townspeople bemoan his fate: "Oh, how terrible! Your son has been so badly injured, he'll not be able to help you with the harvest. What a misfortune!” The farmer responds, “I don't know if its a misfortune or not; what I know is that my son has been injured.”

Less than a week later, the army sweeps through town, conscripting all of the young men to fight in a war... all except for the farmer's son who is unable to fight because of his injury.

The fact is, you can’t know what changes your life will bring, or what the ultimate consequences will be. Equanimity allows for the mystery of things; the unknowable, uncontrollable nature of things to be just as they are. In this radical acceptance lies peace and freedom – right there in the midst of whatever pleasant or unpleasant circumstances we find ourselves in. When we open to the truth that there is actually very little we can control other than our own reactions to circumstances, we learn to let go.

Cultivating the qualities of kindness, compassion, and joy open your heart to others. Equanimity balances the giving of your heart’s love with the recognition and acceptance that things are the way they are. However much you may care for someone, however much you may do for others, however much you would like to control or wish that things were other than they are, equanimity reminds you that all beings everywhere are responsible for their own actions, and for the consequences of their actions.

Without this recognition, it’s easy to fall into compassion fatigue, helper-burnout, and even despair. Equanimity allows you to open your heart and offer as much love, kindness, compassion, and rejoicing as you can, while letting go of your expectations and attachment to results. Equanimity endows the other three Brahma-Viharas with kshanti – patience, persistence, and forbearance. So you can keep your heart open even if the kindness, compassion and appreciative joy you offer to others is not returned. It is equanimity that brings immeasurability or boundlessness to the other three Brahma-Viharas.

If you practice asana, your practice can offer a good opportunity to become better at recognizing where, when, and how you get caught in or swept away by reactivity, and to observe your attachment to results. You might even observe an attachment to results in your motivation to practice in the first place! The desire to feel good and avoid the unpleasant might very well condition your whole experience of practice. But fixating on the results can cause you to miss key aspects of the process. As you continue in your asana practice, at some point it’s likely that factors outside your control—anatomical realities, injury, aging or illness – will affect your practice. When they do, you have a chance to practice equanimity by letting go of your attachment to the results you had been seeking. Equanimity gives you the energy to persist, regardless of the outcome, because you are connected to the integrity of the effort itself. Equanimity allows me to feel inspired by the beauty of the backbends modeled by B.K.S. Iyengar in Light On Yoga, knowing my back will never be able to accomplish them, and enjoy practicing the backbend I can do today.

In The Bhagavad-Gita Krishna tells Arjuna that this attitude of focusing on the action without attachment to the outcome is yoga: “Self-possessed, resolute, act without any thought of results, open to success or failure. This equanimity is yoga.” Similarly, Patanjali tells us in Yoga Sutra I:12 - 16 that abhyasa, continuous applied effort, coupled with vairagya, the willingness to observe experience without getting caught in reactivity to it, will lead to freedom from suffering.

  

For a formal practice to cultivate equanimity, begin with some calming breaths, or a mantra meditation. Once you feel calm, reflect on your deepest desire for happiness and freedom from suffering, both for yourself and others. Contemplate your desire to serve the needs of others and to be compassionately engaged in the world. Acknowledge both the joy and the suffering that exist throughout the world; the good deeds and the evil ones. As you continue to breathe into your heart’s center, acknowledge the necessity of balancing your desire to make positive change in the world with the reality that you cannot control the actions of others.

Bring to mind the image someone for whom you have no strong feelings one way or the other. With this person in your mind’s eye, repeat the following phrases to yourself, coordinating with the out-breath if you like:

“All beings like yourself are responsible for their own actions.”

“Suffering or happiness is created through one’s relationship to experience, not by experience itself.”

“Although I wish only the best for you, I know that your happiness or unhappiness depends on your actions, not on my wishes for you.”

“May you not be caught in reactivity.”

Feel free to use similar, appropriate phrases of your own devising. After a few minutes, shift your attention to your benefactors, those who have offered you support and assistance throughout your life, including teachers, friends, family, as well as the unseen workers who keep the societal infrastructure working. Silently repeat the phrases to yourself as you contemplate these benefactors.

            

After several minutes, begin to reflect upon your loved ones, directing the phrases to them, followed by the difficult people in your life. While feeling kindness, compassion and joy for those we love comes more easily than it does for those with whom we have difficulty, it is often the opposite with equanimity. It’s a lot easier to accept that those we dislike are responsible for their own happiness than it is for those we care for deeply since we feel more attachment to them. Whatever your experience, simply note any reactivity and see if you can be equinanimous with your reactivity!

Broaden your reach after a few minutes to include all beings everywhere throughout the world, and then finally concentrate contemplating equanimity in regards to yourself, noticing how taking responsibility for your own happiness and unhappiness can feel the hardest of all.

“All beings, including myself, are responsible for their own actions.”

“Suffering or happiness is created through one’s relationship to experience, not by experience itself.”

“Although I wish only the best for myself, I know that my happiness or unhappiness depends upon my actions, not my wishes for myself.”

“May I not be caught in reactivity.”

When you cultivate metta, the friendly quality of kind regard, karuna, the compassionate response to the suffering of others, and mudita, the delight in the happiness and success of others, it is equanimity that ultimately allows you to truly expand your capacity to experience this kind of boundless love for those beyond your immediate circle of friends and family, opening to the infinite capacity of your heart to embrace all beings.

Upeksha Bhavana: Cultivating Equanimity

The meditation and cultivation of equanimity helps create and sustain a balanced mind that remains calm and at peace within all the changing circumstances of life; what Zorba, the Greek calls, “the full catastrophe.”

Preliminary Practice: Begin with some calming breath or mantra meditation. When you are experiencing some modicum of calm, begin the cultivation of equanimity.

Basic Practice: As with the previous meditations. Especially here, if there is any agitation or anxiety present, return to calming, stabilizing breath work.

The Phrases:

All beings are the owners or heirs of their karma.

Appropriate action leads to good results; inappropriate action leads to bad results.

Everyone must face his or her own situation.

Although I wish only the best for you, I know that your happiness or unhappiness depends upon your actions, not my wishes for you.

May I (you, he, she, they) not be caught in reactivity.

Use these and other appropriate phrases.

The Traditional Sequence of Upeksha Bhavana:

1.     To a neutral person.

2.     To benefactors.

3.     To loved ones.

4.     To difficult people.

5.     To all beings.

6.     To yourself.

Book Club: "The Body of Truth" by Ajahn Amaro Bhikkhu (Part 3)

Whew! It's taken me some time to get back to this! There's much in this chapter worth speaking about, but I'm going to be brief, just jot down some notes, and see if there's any takers wishing to comment and dialogue. Otherwise, next post, I'll begin comments on the final chapter, Michael Stone's concluding essay.

First, the section "Responsiveness Rather Than Reactivity" pretty much sums it all up! I often talk about how practice takes us from the conditioned patterns of reactivity to more creative, wholesome, liberated responsiveness. To be able to respond is to also take responsibility. In the Zen ordination ceremony, the "Gatha of Atonement" (or "Repentance") is chanted three times to emphasize that when we take this path up, we are saying we are no longer viewing ourselves as "victims," and that from now on we take responsibility for our actions. Only in doing so can we ever live as free beings.

In "Mother Nature's Valium," Ajahn Amaro points out a basic physiological fact: when the body is tense, the mind will be tense and active; when the body is relaxed, the mind relaxes. Have you ever noticed, for instance, your hands clutching the steering wheel of your car while you are driving? Next time you do, quickly reflect on what's going on in your mind, and I can bet you will have been lost in thought, either planning or ruminating or fretting.....   Conversely, the next time you find yourself lost in thought, do a quick scan of your body, and I can bet you'll find you are holding tension somewhere!  The good news is that with this awareness, you can use either 'active mind' or 'tense body' as "Bells of Mindfulness," awaking you to "suchness," the topic of the last section of this chapter.

Ajahn Amaro, speaking of the word tathaagata) says: "is that Buddha quality completely transcendent -- utterly gone? Or is it immanent in the physical world -- completely here, present now? The term is perfect in that it carries both these meanings and indicates that the two, embodiment and transcendence, do not exclude each other in any way." I go further in saying that "transcendence" itself is a completely immanent, embodied experience and reality. As a "Zen Naturalist," I do not believe that there is some separate "transcendent realm" outside the physical world. What is transcended is our notions about what that physical world is.


I like how he adds: "This attribute of suchness then carries with it the spirit of inclusivity, being the point of intersection of the embodied and the transcendent, of time with timelessness. It directs us toward finding spiritual fulfillment in the suchness of the embodied mind, here and now, rather than in some abstracted, idealized 'me,' some other place and time, or in some special uber-heavenly state we might reach through withdrawal of senses." This is fabulous writing! And it's important to keep in mind just how tenacious the tendency to seek some such "uber-heavenly state" is in our culture! Religions of all types trade on such promise!

Boundless Joy: The Delight In Being

     “We hate it when our friends are successful,” sang Morrissey, the mope-rock, singer songwriter and former leader of The Smiths. And while  “hate” may be overstating the issue, a quick Google search of that song finds hundreds of articles and blogs quoting Morrissey, with people sharing the dark, not-so-secret fact, that rather than celebrating others’ successes and happiness, we often react with envy and jealousy. And the flip side of this human quirk is the guilty delight, or schadenfreude, we feel when others fail, as evidenced by so much of the popular reaction to celebrities’ foibles and misfortunes.

       It’s as if we had internalized the notion that there’s only so much happiness, joy, or good fortune to go around, and that if others are happy, there must be less available for us! This must be an age-old problem, and certainly not one limited to contemporary society, because already, over 2,000 years ago, both the Buddha and later, Patanjali, taught the practice of mudita, the third of the Brahma-Viharas, the yogic teachings on love, as an antidote to this notion that we need feel threatened or diminished by the happiness of others by cultivating the ability to take active delight in others’ good fortune.

The Classical Yoga tradition warns that feeling envy is painful and disrupting of our own mental well-being. The tradition singles out cultivating delight in virtuous people. “Don’t envy them; don’t try to pull them down. Appreciate the virtuous qualities in them and try to cultivate them in your own life,” Satchidananda writes in his commentary on Patanjali.

Speaking from the Buddhist yoga tradition, where the Brahma-Viharas are also known as the “Four Immeasurables,” or “Limitless Ones” the Dalai Lama speaks for a kind of ‘enlightened self interest.’ As he puts it, there are so many people in this world it simply makes sense to make their happiness as important as our own, because then our chances of delight are increased. If we are only happy for ourselves, there are many fewer chances for happiness. But if we can be happy when good things happen to others, then our chances for delight are increased “six billion to one!”

I try to remember this myself when I find myself on a long line, like at the bank. Rather than fall into impatience or envy of the folks toward the front of the line, I imagine their relief when they are called to the teller’s window and feel happy for them. By the time it’s my turn, I’m feeling pretty darn happy myself!

The root of the word mudita means “to be pleased, to have a sense of gladness.” The Buddha called mudita “the mind-deliverance of gladness” because this joyful delight actually liberates our hearts and minds. While the mainstream Buddhist tradition tends to translate mudita as “empathetic or altruistic joy” to emphasize our over-coming of envy and jealousy by taking delight in the happiness of others, as Thich Nhat Hanh points out, this is too limiting a definition because it discriminates between self and others. In Teachings On Love, he writes: “A deeper definition of mudita is a joy that is filled with peace and contentment. We rejoice when we see others happy, but we rejoice in our own well-being as well. How can we feel joy for another person when we do not feel joy for ourselves?”

So much of our unhappiness comes from the negativity we hold towards ourselves and toward others. Through our judgments, comparisons, and envy we suffer from a sense of aloneness and lack. Because there are so many constricting impediments to truly opening up to joy, mudita is often said to be the most difficult of the Brahma-Viharas to cultivate. Perhaps because of this very difficulty, mudita can be a powerful liberating force, freeing us from the sense of isolation and self-constriction. And, thankfully, there are many ways we can create the conditions for opening to joy, in asana practice, meditation, and throughout the day.

Whether in my own asana practice, or when teaching, when focusing on joy, I find it helpful to follow John Friend’s advice to “look for the good.” To counter-act the mind’s tendency to fixate on what’s “wrong” with a posture – or with any of life’s experiences – we can actively look for what is “right.” This is not a Pollyannaish denial of duhkha – the unsatisfactory and painful aspects of life. After all, mudita follows the first two Brahma-Viharas: metta, the friendly, non-judgmental accepting quality of what is, and karuna, the compassionate opening to whatever physical, emotional, energetic and mental ills you may be experiencing. We cannot open to real joy if we are caught in aversion or attachment. A psychotherapist I worked with once said that the most pain avoidant people have the least joy in their lives.

The Buddha said that all experiences can be categorized as being either pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. When we cultivate joy, we focus more on the pleasant, but the neutral too can help grow more joy. Thich Nhat Hanh offers the example of the “non-toothache.” When you last had a toothache, you knew for sure that it was unpleasant and that to not have a toothache would be pleasant. But now, you overlook the joy of the non-toothache because it is “neutral.” By bringing attention to the fact that your teeth do not hurt, you may feel a gentle smile of appreciation arise. The neutral quality of experience, through mindfulness, can be the nourishment for greater joy.

A deep, and long relaxation is a must when cultivating joy in our asana practice. While lying in shavasana, you can “touch” various parts of your body with your loving attention. For instance, bringing attention to your eyes as you inhale, send an “inner smile” to your eyes, full of gratitude and appreciation for them as you exhale. Spend a few breaths, smiling to each part of your body. As you move your attention through your body, you do this for your limbs, your inner organs – even, and especially for those parts of the body you may be less than satisfied with – developing greater joy and deeper appreciation for what is.

This practice of cultivating appreciation and gratitude can be taken off the mat and practiced throughout the day. A student shared with me that she felt that life had lost its “flavor” and had become rather empty. As part of her practice, I asked her to spend some time at the end of each day, reviewing her day and making a list of five things that brought her some joy. I emphasized that these need not be “big” things; that perhaps seeing a child laugh while a puppy licked its face could bring her some joy. At the end of one week, she asked if she had to limit her list to five things. She said she found that there were many joy-filled experiences, even on her darkest days. Without denying her sadness and heavy spirit, she was finding that all was not dark. As Leonard Cohen says, “the joy kept breaking through.”

Somewhat paradoxically, the contemplation on impermanence can also enhance our ability to touch joy. The Buddha thought the contemplation of impermanence so important he called it one of the three “Dharma Seals,” saying that without an understanding of impermanence, one could not fully penetrate the Dharma, meaning both his teachings and the real nature of things. I know for myself that the awareness of the impermanent nature of all phenomena – including myself – makes me more sensitive to the effervescent nature of experience. When awake to impermanence, I do not take any one or anything for granted. I stay in touch with what’s happening, and feel the joy of simply being awake to life.

As the mental obstacles to joy are so pernicious, it is important to stay alert to their presence as soon as they arise. When we are judgmental, the mind becomes rigidly attached to how it thinks things should be. If we are judgmental of ourselves, chances are we are also judgmental of others. Mudita, being nonjudgmental, accepts that others can find happiness in things that we would not. Can we accept that others may choose to live their lives differently from us and feel happy for them? Viveka, or discernment is still required, of course. Unfortunately, many people delude themselves as to what makes them happy, and in fact create unhappiness for themselves or others. But if people are genuinely happy and they are not harming themselves or others, mudita is the practice of sharing in their happiness.

Comparing mind is another major obstacle to feeling joy. Whether we compare ourselves to others as better, worse, or the same, we are falling into the trap of “conceit.” Comparing can never bring peace or joy because there is no end to the possibilities of things we can compare ourselves to! While it’s obvious that comparing ourselves as “better” or “worse” is painful, it may seem surprising that even comparing ourselves as “the same” or “equal” to others is considered “conceit.” The problem is, that all comparing is looking at others in order to define oneself. It is evaluating our self worth in reference to others, when the spirit of mudita and the other Brahma-Viharas affirms that we innately deserve to be happy. When we truly believe and understand that deep reality, we can take delight in the happiness of others instead of feeling threatened by it. Our relationship to the world becomes one of communion rather than competition.

The formal practice of mudita-bhavana (joy cultivation), celebrates the happiness of all beings – ourselves included! In fact, through the growing insight into the interdependent nature of the world, we see that the happiness of “others” is indeed our happiness.

To enter into the spirit of mudita-bhavana, it is helpful to recall your own innate goodness. Bring to mind a time when you said or did something that was kind, generous, caring or loving. If nothing comes to mind, turn your attention to a quality in yourself that you enjoy or like about yourself, some skill or talent perhaps that you can recognize and appreciate. If still nothing comes to mind, simply reflect on the basic “rightness” of your innate wish to be happy.

Then begin to offer yourself appreciative and encouraging phrases acknowledging the joy and happiness you’ve experienced in life.

“May I learn to appreciate the happiness and joy I experience.”

“May the joy I experience continue and grow.”

“May I be filled with joy and gratitude.”

Of course, you are free to create any phrases that have an appreciative intention, and as you send these wishes to yourself, open yourself to whatever feelings arise in your body and mind. Notice what – if any – reactivity is provoked by the practice. Don’t expect to instantly feel great joy and appreciation. As a “purification practice,” sometimes all we see is our lack of appreciation and the mind’s judging reactivity. Simply note whatever arises, and return to the phrases, with as much friendliness and compassion you can muster.

After directing these phrases to yourself for a while, the traditional sequence moves on to a benefactor, defined as someone who has inspired you or offered you aid in any way.

“May you experience joy and may your happiness continue.”

“May you be filled with appreciation for your happiness and success.”

“May your happiness and good fortune continue.”

“May you be successful and met with appreciation.”

Following a benefactor, the sequence moves on to a loved one or friend; then towards a neutral person, defined as someone you barely know – maybe even a stranger for whom you have no strong feelings one way or the other. Following the neutral person, we see if we can include sending these phrases and connecting to feeling joy and delight for the happiness and success of the “difficult” people in your life; perhaps someone you envy, but generally those whom you have shut out from your heart.

“May your happiness and joy increase.”

“May the joy in your life continue and grow.”

“May you be successful and met with appreciation.”

If it becomes too difficult to send to a difficult person, acknowledge this with non-judgmental acceptance, and return to sending these phrases to a loved one or yourself. Trust that in time, your heart will expand to include even those for whom you now feel resentment and envy.

Finally, with the understanding that all beings wish to be met with appreciation, we send these phrases to all beings throughout the world. Imagine radiating these positive thoughts from your immediate environment, out in all directions, sending appreciative joy-filled wishes to all beings in existence. When you feel ready to end the meditation, take some time to simply sit with your feelings, and your breath, honoring whatever you experience.

In the Buddhist yoga tradition, the practice of “sharing merit” is another antidote to the idea that the happiness of others means there’s less for us. When we feel that there is a fixed amount of happiness in the world, we fall into an embittered, resentful state of competition with others. Yet, happiness, like love, increases when it is shared. Sharon Salzberg, the Buddhist meditation teacher, describes merit as a power that is born in and grows through acts of goodness. Sharing this merit itself is a powerful, wholesome action that generates its own power. When you give away your merit to others, your own merit increases! Happiness does not diminish in our hearts when we share it. It isn’t a commodity limited in such a way that it has to be rationed.

When we share merit, happiness, or love with all sentient beings, by the very nature of our own sentience, we are included! There is no real separation between “us” and “them.”

In this spirit, I would like to offer the version of “sharing merit” that I like to end all my classes with:

“Whatever merit we may have generated through our practice together

We now dedicate and offer all of it

to all sentient beings throughout the world, equally.

May our thoughts, our words, and our actions

Bring benefit to the world.”

Mudita-Bhavana

The salient characteristic of joy is a gladness that celebrates the happiness of others. It is the  opposite of envy and jealousy. Ultimately, through the insight of no-separation, the happiness of “others” is our happiness.   

Preliminary Practice:  Bring to mind the image of a benefactor whose happiness you share in. Begin with the following phrases:

       

     May your happiness and good fortune continue.

     May your success and prosperity continue.

Basic Practice: The same attitude as previous meditations (metta and karuna).

The Phrases: The two above and/or other appropriate statements.

The Traditional Sequence of Mudita Bhavana:

1.     To a benefactor and then a loved one or friend.

2.     To someone you envy.

3.     To other individuals.

4.     To groups of people.

5.     All beings, known and unknown to you.

Book Club: "The Body of Truth" by Ajahn Amaro Bhikkhu (Continued)

Whew! Long time between posts about this book, eh?  There’s been a lot going on, what with becoming a granddad and heading off to Hong Kong, having a group of wonderful folks studying the Precepts for Taking Refuge and all!

I've also noticed that there's been not one comment on this month's Daily Practice of karuna-bhavana. I hope at least some of you are joining me in this practice this month! What's up?

Last we left off, we were making our way through Ajahn Amaro’s offering: “The Body of Truth.” As a forest-dwelling monastic, he speaks of “the body of the forest” teaching us. We may wonder what this has to say to us who live in the ‘concrete jungles’ or even just suburbia or the rural countryside. He says “there’s a profound physicality involved in living in a wild environment” and that is true indeed! Yet, living in Brooklyn, the sheer physicality of getting to the Laundromat, the post office and back home in one afternoon was pretty physically demanding!

“The forest,” he writes, “itself is recognized as our body, even the great earth itself,” and I would hope that no matter where we live, we come to recognize that! It’s not so much where we live, but how we live where we are that allows us to see the truth in that statement. The water than flows out of the faucets in our kitchens comes from rivers, mountain snow melt and deep wells. We drink it and it becomes this body here, reading these words. No separation.

Finally, the uncertainty of forest life is not really different from the uncertainty of any life, and we had best, as Ajahn says, “let go, recognizing that that uncertainty is part of the intrinsic nature of all things.” A practice I sometimes offer is “One-Way Practice.” Whenever you go to do something, even simply getting up from your desk to go to the rest room, take a ‘one-way ticket.’ After all, you’ve got absolutely no guarantee that you’ll be coming back to your desk! And yes, Cathy, life is that uncertain!

In the next section, “The Body of Truth and The Body of Fear,” Ajahn Amaro makes the important case that our routine identification with emotional states is a leading cause of duhkha. In the following section, “Embodying the Mind: The Case of Fear,” the practice he is advocating is pretty much what I suggest to those caught in strong emotional storms: drop out of the cognitive aspect of the experience and really turn to what it feels like in the body. Where is the sensation? What are its qualities? In effect, what we are doing is investigating the mental formations as they exist in the body. It can be rather difficult to ‘just see’ emotional states, but the energy of mindfulness can more easily be cultivated to contain the pre-cognitive state of feeling (vedana).

Of course, this requires the persistent, diligent practice of mindfulness so that we ‘build a bigger container,’ or else even the feelings – if they are intense – will seem to overwhelm us. I like that he uses the phrase I first heard from Tara Brach: “radical acceptance.” Such a mental stance strikes directly at the ‘picking and choosing’ that keeps us from true intimacy with life as it is.

metta

July Daily Practice: Karuna-Bhavana

How would you like to be unconditionally loved and accepted, just as you are, without having to be or do anything special? What would it be like to feel truly, completely, radically accepted, without feeling that you had to hide or deny or apologize for any aspect of yourself? We all crave this kind of love and acceptance, but fewer of us can honestly say we offer ourselves such unconditional regard. The trouble is, if we cannot love and accept ourselves just as we are, we will find it difficult to love anyone else in such a limitless, unconditional way, let alone all beings. And perhaps even more unsettling to contemplate, if we are fortunate enough to find someone who accepts and loves us unconditionally, how can we receive that love if we haven’t fully accepted ourselves?

Karuna is related to the word “karma,” and it is the intention and capacity to relieve and transform suffering, to lighten sorrow. While karuna is generally translated as “compassion,” which literally means “to suffer with,” Thich Nhat Hanh, the Buddhist monk and teacher, has pointed out that we don’t need to suffer ourselves in order to alleviate the suffering of another person. Doctors, for instance, do not have to suffer illness in order to relieve their patients’ pain. The Buddha described karuna as the “quivering of the heart” we experience when we are open and able to truly see suffering and are moved to do something about it.

After expressing metta karuna to yourself as the essential foundation for being able to offer genuine love to others, the next step is to direct these phrases to benefactors—those who have been good to you and for whom you feel respect and gratitude, such as your parents, friends, teachers, or anyone else who has helped you in any way. After benefactors come beloved friends, a category that emphasizes family members, lovers, friends, and animal companions. These are beings whom you already hold dear in your heart.

The next step is to direct the phrases toward a neutral person, someone you have no strong feelings for one way or the other. Perhaps it’s someone you see around your neighborhood but do not know. The tricky thing is to find someone you are truly neutral about—as you do this practice, you’ll become more aware of how quickly we tend to size up strangers and get a feeling about them. When I first began to practice metta karuna, I was living in Brooklyn, and there was an older man who walked his dog down my street several times a day. I knew nothing of this man, and realized I had no strong feelings about him, so I chose him as my neutral person. And then a funny thing happened. After several months I realized I could no longer send him love as a neutral person. While I still did not know anything about him, I found that I had come to really care for him! When I brought up his image, I felt the familiar warmth of concern and kindness. He had moved into the “beloved friend” category.

After the neutral person, this practice challenges us to send metta karuna to a difficult person. This is someone toward whom you feel anger, fear, or a lack of forgiveness, someone you perceive as having hurt you in some way. It is important to be patient with yourself when sending love to a difficult person. Begin with the less challenging difficult people in your life; over time, you can work your way up to the really challenging difficult people. While practicing, if strong emotions arise, you may need to honor the limits of your present capacity and simply go back to directing love and compassion toward yourself. Go back and forth between yourself and the difficult person, reflecting on how much pain holding on to these feelings is causing you.

The final step in the practice is to direct metta karuna toward all beings. If you like, before this you can choose to send metta karuna to more specific groups of beings such as those in prisons or hospitals, or those who are hungry, abused, or homeless. Don’t forget other species, as all beings wish to be happy and free from suffering just as you do. And that’s just where this Buddhist practice ultimately takes us: to wishing that all beings everywhere, seen and unseen, great and small, are happy and free from suffering.

Off the mat and throughout the day, we can cultivate metta karuna by simply paying attention to all of the opportunities to do so. As we wait in line at the grocery store, we can send metta karuna to the others in line, the stock clerks, and the cashier. Walking down the street, we can send karuna to the homeless woman sitting beside her shopping cart containing her belongings. And if we notice that aversion arises when we see that homeless woman, we can send some to ourselves as well.

I’d like to share a practice that I, and many students, have found invaluable for transforming our relationships with all of the people and situations that life presents, and which I first presented here as a short daily practice.  The first thing every morning, we set the intention to cultivate metta karuna throughout the day by reciting the following gatha:

Waking this morning, I smile,
 A brand-new day is before me.
I aspire to live each moment mindfully,
And to look upon all beings
With the eyes of kindness and compassion.

Karuna Bhavana: The Practice of Compassion

Compassion desires all beings to be free from suffering. The word karuna, etymologically related to karma and kriya suggests that it is ultimately not just a feeling of empathy, but the motivation to do something to relieve the suffering of the world.

Preliminary Practice: Contemplate the aspects of difficulty in your life, whether physical or emotional. Be willing to love yourself even as you struggle and suffer.

Basic Practice: As above.

The Phrases:

May I be free from suffering.

May I hold myself with softness and care.

May I be free from the suffering caused by greed, anger, fear and confusion.

May I experience ease of body and mind.

The Traditional Sequence of Karuna Bhavana: As above. You may wish to conclude with the following:

May the hungry be fed; may the unloved be loved; may the imprisoned be freed. May all beings everywhere be free from suffering.

First Stage Metta Bhavana: Remembering The Good Within You

After sitting with your breath for several minutes, calming the body/mind, call to mind something you have said or done that you feel was a kind or 'good' action. It could be a time you were generous, caring, or contributed to someone's well-being. Perhaps you offered a bowl of fresh, cool water to a stray dog near your home. Perhaps you helped a child-laden mother gather up some fallen groceries. It most certainly need not be anything "big."

If something comes to mind, note if a feeling of happiness arises at the recollection. The Buddha encouraged us to water happiness by remembering it. In fact, this practice is part of the "Four Supreme Efforts" listed under "Right Effort," the sixth limb of the Noble Eightfold Path.

If a feeling of happiness does indeed arise at the remembrance of your kind action or words, simply allow yourself to 'bask' in the tender warm glow. If nothing comes to mind, then gently turn your attention to a quality you like about yourself. It can be a skill, ability, or strength within yourself that you can recognize. Again, it needn't be anything big and 'special.' Perhaps you bake a really good apple pie, and maybe you like to share it with friends.

What is beautiful about this practice is how the tradition seems to 'bend over backward' to make it available to all of us, because if you cannot recall a time you acted or spoke generously, and if you cannot think of a skill, ability or quality you like about yourself, you can simply reflect on the primal desire you have -- like ALL beings -- to be happy! The desire to be happy is good, natural, beautiful and has a sense of 'rightness' about it.

If in any of the above reflections, impatience, irritation, anxiety or fear should arise, please don't fall into negative self-talk. See if you can return to your breath, stabilize your body/mind, and then return to the contemplation free of judgment. The real heart of any meditative practice is to let go and begin again and again and again....

It doesn't matter if the mind wanders countless times in any session of practice; in the moment you recollect it, you are already 'beginning anew!' There is nowhere your attention can go to, and no length of time it can be distracted, from which you cannot simply let go, and in that very moment, begin anew!

metta
poep sa frank jude

June Daily Practice: Maitri/Metta Bhavana

The Buddha taught that cultivating a kind and loving heart with a love for all creation is the most important dimension of our spiritual practice. The Pali word metta (Sanskrit: maitri) has two root meanings. The first is “gentle” as in a gentle misty rain that in falling, does not pick and choose where it falls. It simply falls with no discrimination. The second root is “friend.” A good and true friend is one who is constant in good times and bad. The culmination of metta is to become a good friend to all of life.

While many folk believe they can love others unconditionally, I have found that if you cannot open and accept yourself unconditionally, it is truly not possible to do so for others. Sadly, it is not even possible to receive such love from another if you do not first have it for yourself. The Buddha said there is no one more deserving of your love than yourself. In befriending yourself, you open the door to your heart so that others can abide within.

Preliminary Practice: Take some time to recall your own goodness; calling to mind a time we did or said something that was kind, generous, caring or loving. If nothing comes to mind, reflect on some skill or talent that you possess. It could be something as apparently insignificant as making a great pasta sauce! If still nothing comes to mind, simply reflect on the basic “rightness” of our innate wish to be happy. The fact is, this practice is truly accessible and available to all of us!

Basic Practice: After settling in on the breath and having completed several minutes of preliminary practice, begin to repeat the following phrases, or others of your own choosing, that express what you most deeply wish for yourself. You can coordinate the phrases with your breath or not, as you prefer. Let the pacing and tone be gentle. When the mind wanders, or if difficult feelings arise, simply notice in a spirit of kind acceptance, and gently come back to repeating the phrases.

The Phrases:

May I be happy.

May I be peaceful.

May I be safe from harm.

May I be free from suffering.

May I have the ease and joy of well-being.

The Traditional Sequence of Metta Bhavana:

1.              To Ourselves. This is the essential foundation for being able to offer genuine love to others.

2.              A Benefactor. This is someone who has been very good to us, for whom we feel respect and gratitude. I had a blind student who would send metta to her guide-dog, so truly any being who has benefited or supported you can be included here.

3.              A Beloved Friend. This can include family members as well and also companion animals.

4.              A Neutral Person. This is someone we have no strong feelings for one way or the other. Perhaps someone we see in the neighborhood but do not know. It can be hard to find someone we truly feel neutral toward, as we so quickly assess and judge others when we meet them, so try to find someone truly neutral!

5.              A Difficult Person.* This is someone with whom we have experienced conflict; someone toward whom we feel anger, fear, or a lack of forgiveness. Someone we perceive as having hurt us in some way. It's advised not to begin with the most difficult or abusive person in your life. Start with the small irritating folk! Some students find that they themselves are the difficult person, or some aspect of their personality fits the bill.

6.              Groups or Categories of Beings including animals, those in prison, those who are hungry, people with AIDS etc.

7.              All Beings Everywhere

* Be very patient and gentle when working with a difficult person. If difficult feelings arise, you may need to return to directing metta to yourself. Go back and forth between yourself and the difficult person, reflecting upon how much pain holding onto these feelings is causing you. 

Please take up this practice this month, and share whatever effects you find coming up. Don't be alarmed if it feels like you cannot access this feeling. Sending love to a closed or defended heart is also part of the practice. Also, as a purifying practice, be aware that unpleasant feelings and thoughts may arise. Simply continue with the phrases, and if you ever feel like you are growing overwhelmed, return to the calming breath awareness practice.

When you finish practicing, sit quietly for a few minutes, simply opening yourself to your experience, without analyzing or judging it. 

This practice is done as a formal meditation, but you can also do 'on-the-spot metta,' sending it to anyone around you as you walk down the street, sit in a bus or on a train etc.

metta

poep sa frank jude